Self-Isolation Day 38
Early on Wednesday I went to let in my father-in-law’s gardener Vlady. This was meant to be a quick trip but Vlady had other ideas. He wanted me to make a decision on cutting out a large branch from a bush. Vlady insisted on explaining every possible consequence of cutting it or not cutting it. Just when I thought we had agreed to cut it Vlady would repeat his explanations. The conversation went round and round ad nauseum.
All the time Vlady insisted on coming within 1.5m of me. Not wanting to appear rude I would step back or side step him but then he would follow and close the gap. In this way and with his repeated explanations we danced around the courtyard, up the drive and down the drive. It was definitely not a tango but more of a staccato waltz. I eventually made it out on to the street where I finally summoned up the courage to confront Vlady about distancing.
He apologized by saying that in his country they are not used to staying away from people. As if this is normal practice in the rest of the world. At this point one of the neighbours, Bridget, joined us to find out what was going on. Vlady launched forth and it became clear that Bridget liked a chat as she was engrossed in the conversation. As the conversation continued I could see my life draining away before me and I was losing the will to live. By now some time had elapsed and I was being kept from a hot breakfast. Generally speaking it not a good idea to come between me and my food.
Hunger concentrated my mind and finally I said I had to go. Bridget got the hint and left. I too made to leave but Vlady continued talking. I needed something extreme to make him shut up. I thought of saying that I had to apply cream to my piles but trying to explain this would take a long time. Alternatively I could mime the application but standing in the street trying to insert a digit up one’s rectum might attract attention. Anyway Bridget was talking to the neighbour next door and my charade would most certainly reach my father-in-law. Thinking better of the mime I legged it to my car. As I shut the door Vlady was asking for my email address so that he could explain things in writing. Gunning the car quickly from the kerb I vowed not to come to North Adelaide for a long time.