The Mrs has recently had her 60th birthday with a big bash a week or two ago. It is amazing how many old people can behave badly and the usual suspect flashed her tits again (yes you know who you are and so does everyone else there). It was a bit OTT just to get the barman’s attention though it was a bit of a scrum at times. All I can say is the Festival of Kirsty is now over. At least for another year.
Coincidentally on the actual day of her birthday I was listening to Desert Island Discs during my morning walk. The guest, whose name I forget, chose one song ‘What can you give a nudist for her birthday.’ The coincidence was uncanny though I am not suggesting the Mrs is a nudist or not now anyway. However when younger she had a habit of filling the washing machine and occasionally vacuuming when nude sometimes doing each of these when on the phone. That is the naked truth. Honest.
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Last week someone’s assistant emailed to ask if we could move a meeting forward an hour. I agreed and her return email was meant to say ‘sorry for the inconvenience’. What she actually said was ‘sorry for the incontinence.’ I asked if I should bring some nappies. I was told in no uncertain terms not to be facetious…or incontinent.
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Tis the Festive Season again and thank goodness there is no repeat of the lunch last year when I was left by my wife as the only male among a bunch of flirtatious female nonagenarians. Though over the year I admit to having missed any woman being coy and giggly with me.
You will have noticed I use Festive Season and not Christmas. We are not allowed to wish someone a merry Christmas lest we offend someone’s sensibilities, opinions or just orientation. People facing North are particularly offended by Christmas.
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Speaking of being offended I came across all four series of The Good Life on cable. Those of you who are old enough will remember it as light comedy series from the 1970s with the gorgeous Felicity Kendall so much loved by Rick in the Young Ones. At the start of each episode we now have the following warning:
‘The Good Life is a classic comedy programme (good start…nothing offensive here) which reflects the broadcast standards, language and attitudes of its time. Some viewers may find this content offensive.’
All the great British comedy series ridiculed people with offensive or just plain silly views and behaviours. Think of ‘Til death us do part, Fawlty Towers, Porridge, Steptoe and Son, Blackadder, The Office. If you are ridiculing the offensive why would you need a warning? The youth have clearly lost their sense of humour but tell that to the youth of today and they won’t believe you.