Goodness how time flies. I have been off-line for over two months but for good reason. We are moving house and having not done it for 24 years I had forgotten the chaos that it creates. Of course, this was not helped by the moving of the goalposts by her indoors. Originally, we would be selling this time next year, then it moved to January next year and then suddenly this month. No pressure then.
House styling has been a big thing and as has the removal of furniture. My chest of drawers has vanished with my clothes now in the cupboard, which cannot fit all my clothes. Hence my undies are in a kitchen draw while my hankies are secreted in the front room. I have been unable to locate my socks some of which I was quite fond of.
We have had help from a professional stylist friend, who has basically overturned and rearranged the whole house. There seems to be a lot of soft furnishings involved. All good but then a stream of my wife’s friends wanted to add their touch, which meant further moving of furniture and pictures again involving Muggins here. I eventually had to hire a security guard to prevent further entry.
However, this did not stop one sister-in-law, who seemed to have flown from the USA, where she lives, just to add her own style. This involved three trips to empty Target of soft furnishings and other household knick-knacks. There will be a garage sale of this paraphernalia once we have sold. Make sure you buy Wesfarmers shares. Needless to say, this process has been somewhat trying and I am now borderline histrionic personality disorder, which means I now slot in with most of my wife’s family so all is well.
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Amongst this chaos we have had my mother-in-law’s almost nonagenarian female friends for lunch again. At a previous lunch, said women were all coy and giggly with me once my wife and her mother had left the house. This time having triple-locked all exit doors from the house, I felt confident that I would not be abandoned again to this gaggle of Zimmer frame pushers. You cannot be too careful as a sexagenarian man. However, one of them managed some open flirtation in saying that I was a keeper. So nice to finally get a vote of confidence after 35 years of being with my wife. Must have been the Coq au Vin I served.
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It is not without a sense of schadenfreude that I have watched the UK Prime Minister, Keir(a) Starmer, make such a pig’s ear of governing. You could not make this stuff up if you will excuse the pun. As Starmer is so fond of reminding the world he is a toolmaker’s son. Again you could not make this up if you recognise the pun so I thought he might like this derivation of a word twister given his new-found love of sausages:
‘I’m not the sausage sucker, I’m the sausage sucker’s son, and I’m only sucking sausages ‘Cause the sausage sucker’s late. I’m not the sausage sucker, I’m the sausage sucker’s son, and I’m only sucking sausages, till the sausage sucker comes.’