Day 1
Day 1 of the six-day lockdown. Met Kirsty in the kitchen at 7am and she was already bored. She has a long list of things she wants to do. By the end of the day the house is cleaned and all the linen has had two washes. Even the cat has been in the wash. Not a good experience. Have you ever seen a cat when let out of a washing machine? Not happy Jan.
Kirsty managed to visit the supermarket but it seemed to be a long visit. Three hours later and she managed to come back with two real estate listings. She was exhausted and a stiff gin ensued. Luckily I bought a litre yesterday but I think we will be low by Saturday.
I must be bored as I came across a video about anal bleaching. You have to ask why bother? The object of this exercise is to whiten your anus. I repeat why bother?
Day 3
Bugger. The lockdown is nearly over and my source material is drying up. I wish that was the case but her jaw keeps moving.
At least I have discovered a new hobby in anal bleaching but as a novice I have so many questions: Why for a start? Who gets it done? Who does the bleaching? Where can you get it done? Is it legal? At what age can you start? How long before I can sit down?
Boy do I love Google. I have discovered an anal bleaching cream called ‘Pink Bits’. I kid you not. I say bring back the GFC. We can then get the government to pay for Pink Bits not Pink Bats.
Further investigation revealed that you can now whiten your vagina. Makes perfect sense. Although if you have a problem with your vaginal colouration I suggest just turning the lights off.
One clinic linked anal bleaching to teeth whitening as in ‘you want all parts of your body to look good’. I suspect there will be some entrepreneurial dentist out there who will offer a job lot at a discounted price. You can imagine the slogan: ‘I whiten holes that other dentists won’t’ or ‘no hole too dark for me’.
Anyway one friend has asked what I was watching before came across anal bleaching. Well it started with the Air Afrikaans video on Youtube. Then the next video was Charlize Theron on a chat show talking about how she speaks to her mother in Afrikaans and how they often talk about anal bleaching. Well then I was off.
Another friend sent me a link to a video on anal bleaching in which he thought I was mentioned. Unfortunately the page is currently unavailable. I can only imagine. Anyway must dash. The supermarket beckons as I must stock up on Domestos.