Comrades! I am your Greens candidate for Medindie!
The election is nigh, and we are close to power! If you have money we want it!
Party discipline is essential and subversives will not be allowed!
Our SEVEN COMMANDMENTS are as follows:
- Goats not money will be the means of exchange
- Property is theft so all property will be nationalised
- Interest rates will be set to zero permanently as inflation is a neo-liberal myth
- All are equal though Party members are more equal than others
- Opinions once decided by The Party cannot be disagreed with
- Ignorance is strength – long may social media exist
- All farms to be managed by animals
- Only Marxist fish poetry can be read
Comrades! Our election manifesto is as follows:
- All Party MPs and senators must have double-barrelled names
- During the week a person can walk only on one leg to save energy. Our slogan for this is: two legs good one leg better.
- Free driving lessons for pigs to drive farm machinery
- There will be only one gender and the preferred pronoun is ‘Reg’
- Seatbelts for motorcycles
- Reduce the voting age to 5 years of age
- Cave habitation will be fully subsidised
- Lights out at six
For details of our manifesto please refer to the Party’s Fiction Department.
Viva la revolucion!
Long live the Soviet Republic of Medindie!
Long live our Great Leader Comrade Bandt!